20 Adventures from my 20s: #6

When I was accepted to the Bordeaux program, we were told only that we needed to take part in an intensive language program prior to the school year starting, and that we needed to arrive on the campus by August 28. To me, naturally, this meant that I would leave California on the 27th, in order to arrive in Bordeaux on the morning of the 28th.

I was therefore, appalled and amazed to listen to other Californians who showed up, saying they had just come from a few days in London, or a week in Greece. WTF. They just... did that alone? They just visited cities by themselves? Weren't they scared? How did they know what to do? (Ohhh the plight of Americans! For how independent we claim to be, we sure aren't very resilient. After all, what do we do without cars?) At first I chalked it up to the simple fact that they were more brave than I was, and that would just never be me.

As the year crept by, I started to get the hang of things, started to be more confident in my French, saw what a command the English language had over the world  and decided that my goal, before I returned home to the United States, would be the adventure of...

MY FIRST TRIP COMPLETELY AND DELIBERATELY ALONE

Fun fact about my French - on the day I arrived in Bordeaux, a group of students hanging out in our dorms suggested we go downtown, and I agreed. Someone suggested getting calling cards and ducked into a pharmacy that sold them. I remember panicking - wait, what do I do? What do I say? Does the French I learned in school actually WORK? And ended up being so scared, I had someone else ask for it for me. Later when I was alone, I cried over how weak my French was. A few months later, I was entertaining an English-only guest and a waiter came and announced the amount of our bill. My friend said "What did he say?" and I remember answering without a second thought or internal translation: "18.34" I remember being shocked in the moment after that it was a very obscure, not-round number, and that I hadn't translated, and even the waiter stopped to think about it and in English even complemented me: "Yes! Zat is perfectly correct! 18.34!" I was so proud of myself in that moment. Since I'm telling that story I'll also tell you the story of when a group of Americans went out to dinner at our favorite crepe restaurant... I was the last to order and after the waiter left I announced to everyone "Wow, that was the easiest time ordering! I didn't even stumble!" and everyone gave me funny looks and then said "Um, he was speaking to us in English. You ordered in English" HAHAHAHAHA. I love that story too. It just goes to show how completely muddled and stressed your mind gets trying to integrate into a new culture with a new language!

Anyways, back to my trip: I set the goal for myself to take an international trip alone. I wasn't trying to go crazy now, just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I ended up deciding on a tour of the Isles, and booked tickets to Edinburgh and Dublin at a time after all my American friends had left (that was a weird feeling) and just before my return flight home.

I was scared the whole time leading up to it. Going to the airport alone was actually kinda nice because I liked being responsible only to and for myself, but the loneliness of it was weird. I remember that on my first flight, I sat next to a kindly Irish businessman who got to talking with me, found out my plans, and gave me a copy of his Irish Times, circling all the great things that were going on in Dublin that weekend. That was the first moment I realized how awesome traveling alone was. When the plane landed, I remember reverting back to fear. What the hell was I doing totally alone? Was I going to be okay? Wow, this week suddenly feels very long.

My trip was about a week, maybe a little longer, and it was the best decision I ever made. If living in a new country opened my mind and horizon, traveling alone took it up even another notch.

First of all, being alone removes your barriers and opens up all the opportunities to get to know the people and the places. People around me were either curious, or took pity, or simply wanted to help. I got lots of free stuff, had tons of conversation, and met so many people in my hostels and on the bus and walking around the cities.

It was weird at first. I remember walking High Street in Edinburgh on my first day alone, and I realized that I had spoken to NO ONE. I had had NO conversation, and I actually panicked that I was going crazy in my head and felt like I needed to talk to SOMEONE about ANYTHING. I both got used to it, and also made friends. I made friends with the Canadian working the hostel front desk. I made friends with a Scottish guy at a bar, and a guy from Phoenix in the common area of the hostel. Because I had such a long time on my trip alone, I was able to be spontaneous. I took the train down to Newcastle in England to visit a friend studying there and took a tour of the Scottish Highlands and got to visit Callandar, Pitlochry, Glen Coe and Loch Ness.

In Ireland I did crazy things and revisited a few places I had been to before (The Guinness Factory) and checked out new places (Temple Bar).

First day alone, wandering around Edinburgh

In Edinburgh, at the Holyrood palace

Train station in Newcastle with fellow Gaucho Katie

Somewhere during the Scottish Highlands tour. Thank God for digital camera timers!

In the town of Loch Ness

Loch Ness itself

River Liffey in Dublin

Some randomass place in Dublin. I was sick, but a photoshoot anyway

I was going to pose but someone walked by so I sat down instead hahaha

An aerial view of Bordeaux along the Garonne!! I was able to see this since I flew
into Biarritz instead of Bordeaux on the return

There were of course some things to get used to, like taking selfies (in an era where this was not at all common), and musing on the sites by myself, and figuring out things alone and having no other opinions to go on, but it remains one of my biggest personal accomplishments that has mushroomed into a habit of fearless solo treks and adventures, and was one of the best experiences of my life, not just my 20s.

I also remember, quite bittersweetly, that when I left Dublin and flew into Biarritz, France, how France felt like home like the time away... just in time for me to leave in a few days afterwards back to the United States.