Lord of the Flies

I hated Lord of the Flies. I still do. Sorry William Golding, but that book just sucks to me. But, there have been some good things to come out of it. For instance, in my senior year of high school, our end of year project for AP Literature was to create some sort of satire work on any literature from our high school curriculum. Our group did a Survivor-style Lord of the Flies satire, making a reality show video of Lord of the Flies, including us "crash landing" into a pool and then having one-on-one interviews and trying to kill each other off. (This was not long after Def Government Jam's Kill Bill reenactment for AP Government... I'm starting to think we were a bloodthirsty little group), and then of course, the pre-reading activity my classes I had to sub for the other week did.

They were going to start reading Lord of the Flies and the teacher left me with worksheets they had to complete, which was basically like, if you crash landed on an island, what would you name it, who would you bring with you, what would you do to survive, etc.

At the end of the day, as I was compiling the work to leave for the teacher, a few of the answers started to catch my eye, so I started reading them, and they were cracking me up! Most were fairly "normal", bringing their mother or friend with them. But some were a little less orthodox

Apparently surfer chicas are their friend, and an unknown famous cook. Smart way to get out of eating raw crabs and fish though, I suppose!

Some considered their savior Jesus Christ worthy to bring, and then Chuck Norris. Would Chuck Norris kill Jesus? Has anyone written that joke yet? Also, please note their island is called St-St-Stutter Island.

This student has a super friend. What constitutes a super friend? I am really very curious

Their volleyball. And then "me, myself, and I" sounds lonely!

I'm guessing there will be some professional basketball going on on this island

A stuffed dragon is your best friend? And Olaf the snowman. I actually support that one!

And then of course, this gem!

Check out #4!

Me on the island?! And my job is to teach them. Ha! Like they would listen. And notice that their group is called The Kitty Cats? I think that's because it was the class period where every single one of them was asking "what are we doing today?" as they were coming in and I was getting so annoyed and just said "My goodness, you are all such curious kittens!" and they said "WHAT DID YOU CALL US?!" and I said "you're all kitty cats! Cause you're curious as cats!" and they were like "Why cats?" (What's wrong with this generation?!) and I said "That's the saying! To be as curious as a cat. It's either that or George. Would you rather be curious monkeys?!" And they all preferred cats. So there you go.

Man, when am I going to get a book deal for all these stories?! High schoolers are by far the best.