I am back at my school until Thursday as a teacher, with two classes of geology, three classes of chemistry, and one indispensable break period. The geology classes are miserable, because the only work given was for them to write unit summaries for chapters, and try to make a class of high schoolers focus on bookwork for 4 days and let me know how it goes. That lack of structure or instruction probably makes me more miserable than them, but I truly do sympathize, and only half-heartedly get them on task, and look the other way when they are having conversations, working on other work or only faking it. But I hate their damn phones. I hate hate HATE them, and they are so strictly forbidden in classes, that it is somewhat offensive when they take them out, especially when I warn them I don't want phones out. I even let them listen to music as long as work is getting done, but say they better find a playlist and stick to it, because I don't want to see them constantly fiddling with phones. So one kid in particular (a real winner, let me start there) who was probably high, would not put his phone away despite numerous verbal warning. It came down to the confrontation. I went over there and it went something like this:
Me: "I'm not asking again. Give me your phone now, or put it away"
Student: "Oh hold up, my mom just texted me, I gotta get back to her"
Me: "Don't you dare touch your phone. Your mom knows that you are in school"
Student: "My mom doesn't give two shits"
Me: "Neither do I"
Student: "Tell that to my mom"
Me: "I'd be happy to"
Student: "Good luck"
Me: "I don't need luck, but you need an escort out of here. Get all your things"
Because I didn't have any referrals, I had to go up to the office later to write up the incident. I wasn't sure where to go, so I went to the sub supervisor, and she caught someone on his way out of the office and said "Why don't you follow that man?" he turned and said "What do you need?" and my supervisor said "She needs the discipline office" and again: "Yeah, but what do you need?" I said "I need discipline!" but his face didn't change or crack a smile, and I realized I should probably start saving all my jokes for Groundlings. "Sorry, I just need to write up a referral" and he led me out to where I needed go.
Chemistry was much, much better, because it included instruction and things to do for the class period instead of an empty period of bookwork. I was talking to Pam on the phone last night and when I told her I would be teaching chemistry, she was beside herself. "You're teaching chemistry? Is this what America has come to?!" So I took it upon myself to proudly show her a day's work. She said I probably paid a student to write that on the board for me and I told her my students couldn't even write their own names without a play-by-play.
Teaching was interesting because I had to constantly shush them, and was terrified to give them time to work out some problems on their own because I didn't think I'd ever get them back again, but I did. What was crazy was, in the middle of talking and trying to explain moles and representative particles, in a few classes, someone would shout out "I'm learning more from you than I've learned from my teacher all year" and I had so many mixed emotions. Like one, completely annoyed that they interrupted me. Two, shocked that they were learning anything because they were so rarely completely quiet. Three, an impulse to throw my whiteboard marker at their face and say maybe if they just listened they would learn lots from their teacher!
At the end of one class, one student came up to me and said he had a joke for me. I said okay, and he said "Has anyone ever got you naked?" and I was a little shocked into silence. Was the joke after this? Was I supposed to respond to this? I couldn't even think of a witty response that would be appropriate so I said "Ummm, I don't think I can hear this joke" and he said "What are you talking about? Don't you know those organic juice drinks Naked? Has anyone ever gotten you one of those before?" and I said "Oooookay that was a good one, I'll be sure to pass it on" so here is me passing it on.
On the way out of the staff restrooms I ran into an old classmate / teammate of mine that I hadn't seen since graduation, and who I learned was a teacher here now, which completely surprised me because I had no idea and thought I knew which of the teachers were former friends of mine. She and I got to talking and she told me her CSETs had been brutal. I had to ask, how many times did she have to take it? Do you know what she said? She, a science major from college taking the biology CSET, had to take it four times before she passed. Four! I got discouraged that I missed one test by four points, and she had to take the test four times! Golly gee, I really didn't give myself enough credit with those passes of mine! I guess what I'm saying is, I really shouldn't feel so bad if it takes me four times to pass that last one, but how the heck did I pass those other ones??
Driving home, I was stopped at a stoplight and went to check my phone that was blowing up from a San Diego group text and wanted to see what was going on. My windows were down, so I was able to hear someone talking to me. (Fun fact: I always opt for windows over AC as long as possible) and so I muted my music and said "Huh?" it was a Hispanic man in a run-down red pickup truck leaning out who went off in a slough of Spanish. I really tried to understand, but I couldn't. I figured he must only speak Spanish because why lead off with that? (Of course, it seems every day I am more and more finding I am not thought to be Caucasian, so I should get used to it) so I just called out "Sorry, I don't speak Spanish" so he said in accented English instead: "Jesus Christ is coming soon, you need to be ready" and the light turned green and it felt weird to just drive off so I said "Thank you" and he nodded and drove off too. I didn't get it. Was I profiled? Was it cause I was looking at my phone? Was it the Of Monsters and Men music playing loudly? Did he think I was someone else? Was he telling this to everyone he passed, because I saw him at the next stoplight but I didn't see him talking. Just friendly conversation? So I guess I should pass that too, my friends: Jesus Christ is coming son and you need to be ready.
And, to end the blog as nicely as I end most of my days:
Me and Khaleesi Bug cuddled and asleep for an afternoon cat nap today. Just a couple of kittens.
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