Overheard At A Gas Station

One thing in schools today that brings the Trunchbull out in me (read Matilda) are these damn PHONES. I swear they should be illegal on school campuses. Students should have to check them in at the office in the mornings. Your parents need to get ahold of you? Guess what, SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME, the rest of us survived and stayed in touch with our parents JUST FINE. Everyone's "right" to their personal property in the shape of a phone is robbing everyone of their right to an education. It takes forever for everyone to put them away to start class. They are constantly distracted by the cameras, pictures, clock, calculator and information, to say nothing of the games on them. They constantly have earbuds hanging out of their shirts to listen to music inbetween classes. I hear music playing in the middle of class. Then there is the crying and accusations when someone loses a phone. And the parents are no better! Someone's phone rang because their parent was calling to say they would be coming to pick them up. Don't they realize their kid is in class, learning, with other kids in class?! Today I had to leave a class with a homework assignment and wrote out a detailed list of their project and what it should include. I reminded them to write that all down in case they would forget. Do you know what happened? I had a crowd of 30+ students at the board, pointing their iPhones at the whiteboard to take a picture, because apparently writing that down was just too much effort for them. This is the world today! I seriously, seriously hate phones in school. Wow, I sound cranky, but this is the next generation people, we're all the village raising the children.

On a better note, here's a story of what can happen if you leave your phone alone for a few minutes! I had to get gas on the way home, and since these crazy middle schoolers sometimes lead me to drink (coffee) I went in to get iced coffee from the gas station mart. There was a long line at the register and I didn't have my phone on me, which meant I had to stand in line undistracted and without even music for a full few minutes. A woman was loudly in a conversation on her phone behind me, so I started to listen, and this is what I got:

"...and then she said the cops were out and looking for her and I said, 'girl, get outta here, I don't need more of this drama at my house'"

I promise that was verbatim! Who does this woman hang out with? Are the cops still looking for her friend? Is she worried about aiding and abetting a fugitive? What was the other drama in her home? Would she consider herself a drama-free person otherwise? These were just a few of the questions I had, but I was happy I didn't have my phone in that line so that I was able to take in the natural scene and inhabitants of Riverside.

Lastly, one of my prized possessions, my Stephen Colbert bag, which I have turned into my subbing bag, was noticed by a student today:

He called from across the room: "Miss, is that John F. Kennedy on your bag?"

I started laughing. The class always gets really quiet when I laugh, I don't know why. They're fascinated that there are things that amuse the teacher, they feel that the world they're in is all for and about them, I guess.

I said, "No, it's not, but I'm very impressed you are aware of John F. Kennedy, and you're right that it does probably look like him from a distance."

"Oh. Is it just another old, boring dead guy?"

I laughed more. "No, it's actually a young, super funny alive guy."

And because it only seems right to end every conversation with a student this way, I finished with: "Now do your work."