Shut Up And Play The Hits

Life lesson of the weekend: it always pays to occasionally go over Netflix's Recently Added category. I get so caught up in my good ol' faithfuls (read: Arrested Development, Portlandia, The Office, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Louie, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Archer...) but glanced over at Recently Added to find some gems, like stand-ups from Zach Galifianakis, Aziz Ansari and Louie C.K., new Saturday Night Live seasons, and Shut Up And Play The Hits, a sort of documentary on the end of LCD Soundsystem, shadowing lead James Murphy and ending with their final show at Madison Square Garden. It even started off with footage from his interview with Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report.

I was thinking about Shut Up And Play The Hits while I was on the road. I don't know why, it just came to mind. Maybe cause I love LCD Soundsystem, their dance beats, their lyrics, all that stuff, but who knows. Still, I found myself daydreaming about it, and them, and Stephen Colbert, and then completely missed my freeway exit. That has never happened to me before over something so random! That was weird. (At least The Groundlings was awesome. We are getting into a lot more character and scene work, which has been very challenging, but also super fun, and I've somehow already been Ginger, an overly-emotional dogwalker, Marge, a video-game enthusiast coming out with Cuban Dragon 7, the newest videogame console, and Theresa Louisa, a host of "Pep Talk," a cable access talk show.)

On the Saturday Night Live side of Netflix's Recently Added, I watched a 2010 episode with Bryan Cranston hosting (to commemorate the last episode of Breaking Bad which aired tonight that I couldn't watch since I'm not caught up, sadface) and judge me if you will, but this dumb sketch of The Bjelland Brothers, featuring Bryan Cranston and Fred Armisen long-haired and singing to the "lightly attended" Target stadium in Minneapolis was cracking me up. All they sang was "I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice to your house... did you get it?" over and over and over and for some reason, I guess I was just in the right place at the right time in the right mood, I couldn't stop laughing at it. I tried to find a clip to put here, but they've all been taken down, and everywhere I searched had scathing reviews of that episode, not to mention they hated that sketch. It's one of those things that... I could step back and logically see that this wasn't so funny, and it's not going to make any type of history, but... I loved it, and it had me going. I guess it's just true that "the heart has reason that reason does not understand."

Still. Shut up and play the hits.

Well La-Dee-Chanel-Da!

It has taken me a lot of my life to accept that I am just not much for fashion or designer things. But, it only took me two hours to learn that I am everything for Coco Chanel.

On Thursday, I got to sub the first half of the morning for a high school French class, which was a dream opportunity. This is why I was a little disappointed that the first two classes, which were French 2, were just watching a movie in English and taking video notes. I did welcome them and take attendance in French, but they didn't understand enough for me to explain that we would be watching a video and taking notes. (What is this, amateur hour?!)

The video was a documentary on Coco Chanel, which, although it was in English, featured some archived video footage of interviews with Madame Chanel, which were in French and subtitled in English. I was eager to pass along the smallest amount of wisdom I had, so I would pause the movie after a French interview, ask them if they could pick out the French words being spoken, knowing the English subtitles were there, and even though they couldn't, I would point out les bijoux meant "jewelry," la mode meant "fashion," and la robe meant "dress" and rewind and try to have them listen for these and start training their ears to listen to French. Because of this, I was glued to the video and listening intently for any opportunity to teach, but instead because so enthralled by Chanel. This woman was ridiculous...!

First of all, she began to have a big rivalry with a new designer from Italy, and the video said that Coco Chanel never once spoke her name, but simply referred to her as "The Italian."

She rambled on and on in an interview talking about how a woman who doesn't wear perfume is trashy, and arrogant, because she assumes her own natural musty smell is sufficient, and better than the perfume options available.

She had a long romance with the Duke of Westminster, and it was apparently well-known that he ended their relationship because he needed to have kids and she was 46, but she vehemently maintained that she ended the relationship and was quoted as saying "There have already been two duchesses of Westminster, and there will always only be one Coco Chanel."

Chanel always encouraged wearing fake jewelry. If we wear silk flowers so they don't wilt in an hour, what's the difference with fake jewelry? She said that jewelry was meant to adorn you, not to make you look rich, and that was not the same thing. Then she said (and this is a direct quote translated into English): "I have also set out to deflate certain people" and then described those who go out draped in diamonds, and how tacky they are.

She said that she SET OUT to deflate people! Here I am listening to the video, my jaw dropping, and my class sat there silently with their cheeks resting on their fists and the glow of the TV reflecting on and off their shadowed faces and eyes, completely stoic. Were they not hearing this?! Coco Chanel was unreal! Did they already know? Was I just the last to find out?

I am so fascinated by crazy, bitchy people, and I don't know why! It's not like I want to be them, because I don't appreciate exaggerated egos and the lack of empathy that seems to accompany them, but God Almighty there's something so funny to me about someone so feisty, who fight this heartbreaking world by becoming overly confident and self-assured.

Even as I sub, I learn things too.

A Little Riverside History

I accepted a job subbing for a middle school in Riverside yesterday, one that I had never heard of before. I thought maybe it was just far outside the reaches of the neighborhoods I was used to and had friends from, but turns out it's just new.

Frank Augustus Miller Middle School up in Woodcrest. I got there and was blown away at how nice it was! (At least compared to my crummy middle school, built in 1927 and redesigned in 1973 and did not look good for its age while I was there.) It had mission-style architecture and Riverside raincrosses on the gates (LOVES IT!) It occurred to me that the namesake of the school might be telling, and the name was ringing a bell, but not the right one. I kept thinking of the Wizard of Oz, but knew that couldn't be right. (That was L. Frank Baum, FYI). The school had a minimum day and even though we were done at noon, I had to stay and supervise kids in the library. Inside the library, the wallpapers were visuals/scenes/walls of the Mission Inn. The Mission Inn! It all came screaming back to me that Frank Augustus Miller was the architect of the Mission Inn, the creator of the Riverside raincross, and "one of Riverside's strongest promoters." (Hey, I thought that was me.) I verified this with one of the kids. "Hey! That's the Mission Inn, isn't it?" I asked. He didn't even look up. "Ugh. Yeah." Welp.

The kids were so well behaved in the library that I was bored out of my mind and went on the computer to research Mr. Frank and the Mission Inn. Turns out there's some dark history. Did you know, in 1909, one of the most popular songs of that era, called "A Perfect Day" was penned by Carrie Jacobs-Bond as she watched the sunset over Mt Rubidoux from her 4th floor room at the Mission Inn? (Not to be confused with "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed). Well here's a lesson as to why you should always read to the end:

In Lake Arrowhead in 1929, Jacobs-Bond's only child, Frederick Jacobs Smith, committed suicide with "A Perfect Day" playing on a phonograph. (Wikipedia.)

Can you let that sink in? Can you realize how horrific that is? That is some messed up stuff, and it totally killed my buzz!

This could be why they don't play "A Perfect Day" daily on the carillon at the Mission Inn anymore, but this is purely my own speculation. We need a new Riverside anthem.

Adventures in Substitute Teaching: Intro

What would this blog all be worth if not for sharing the best of the best that happens in substitute teaching? I've been able to sub a lot more regularly now, which is helpful for many reasons. However, after classes of 3rd and 5th graders so far, I am really seeing how elementary school is sooooo not my forte. To be clear, I already knew this, but being in these situations just reinforces it. They don't exactly have a developed sense of sarcasm yet, and it is amazing to me how they need to be treated exactly like children. That should be obvious, but I guess I've been out of elementary school for too long now. Here are some of my "Wow. Okay." moments:

Me: Who can tell me which vocabulary word matches this definition? The process by which a plant removes waste from the water through tiny holes in the leaves.
Some Kid: It's transportation.
Me: Transportation? Or.... transpiration?
Kid: Yeah, the second one.
Me: Transpiration.
Kid: Right, transportation.
Me: Tran-SPIR-ation
Kid: Transsssportation
Me: Tran-SPIR-ation
Kid: Transsssportation
Me: Right.

Girl in Class Raises her hand.
Me: Yes?
Girl: I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: Can it wait until recess?
Girl: Yes.
Me: Okaaaaaay then, let's do that.

Boy in class comes up to my desk.
Me: Are you okay?
Boy: My stomach hurts.
Me: I'm sorry. Do you need to go to the nurse?
Boy: No.
Me: Is there anything I can do for you?
Boy: No.
Me: Okay, do you think you can still do your work for now and maybe wait until lunch to see if you feel better?
Boy: Yes.
Me: Okaaaaaay then. (In my head: thanks for the play-by-play?)

And here's a great example of how they only operate under strict structure:
Me: Okay, Row 1 may line up for recess.
ENTIRE CLASS: "WHAT ROW? OUR ROWS ARE CALLED GROUPS!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
...and I realize they have no intellect or critical thinking skills... or any thinking skills at all.

In elementary schools we start our mornings going over PBS's which are Positive Behavior Support (or something) and each day we go over the social norms and etiquettes for certain things, such as how we ask for permission. And thank God too, because kids today clearly aren't getting these at home. On Thursday it was how to appropriately use the bathroom, which includes things like using quiet voices, keeping water in the sink, throwing trash in the trash cans and flushing the toilet. I was like... seriously? And it is SO HARD to stand up there with a straight face and be serious in front of 34 pairs of eyes looking for instruction and guidance from me!

I mean, if you need advice on how to stay street-smart in Harlem, or how to blow off creepy guys in bars, or how to make friends at trivia night, I could stand up there til the cows come home. But things like how to use the restroom and reminding them how we take a test and keep our hands to ourselves is just not really my strong suit. I may let onto this when I walked my class out to lunch on Thursday, and me and the other 5th grade teacher stood by our doors and yelled after our respective classes to walk, and stay on the line, and leave spaces inbetween. This sweet old woman whispered for me to hear "Aren't they just so cute?" And my response was "Yeah. But thank goodness for the weekend, right?" I don't think that was the response she was expecting.

I was worried I wasn't good with kids at all, but on Friday I met up with a friend and one of her two boys in downtown Riverside to go walking and play at the playground. Afterwards we went back to her house and ate and did some crafty things with her son before he went down for a nap, and I was having the best time with him! We were making Cheerio necklaces and it's not like he didn't need discipline, but it's suuuuuuch a different role raising a kid at home than maintaining a learning environment of 30+ crazy kids who roll into mob mentality at the drop of a hat.

Last night I went out with my cousin Brianna and her friend Jen and Jen's friend Vanessa to The Ranch in Anaheim. I have to say that line dancing and that whole country scene is again not my strong suit, but it sounded more appealing than staying in with Netflix after the week I had had, so I went.

I was saved, really saved! when they put on Wobble Baby during the band's break. It was the best jam of the night and kept me going until they closed. I have this great gift of the Power Nap. If I feel like I am on my deathbed and going to die or collapse of exhaustion before a night out, give me 15 minutes and I wake up good as new for another 6 hours out. In that same way, put me in a country music bar, give me one good Wobble, and I can stay out til closing. Of course, no telling what would have happened without the Wobble...! I thought the live band should prove themselves. I just wanted to hear Daft Punk, even if it came out on a banjo. Was that too much to ask? The answer is yes, yes it was.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My legs hurt. I rode my bike yesterday. It's my orange beach cruiser I got for my birthday my senior year in college from my boyfriend at the time because mine had just been stolen. Or maybe he got it for me just because. I can't really remember. I've never really had ample opportunity to ride it since Santa Barbara. I rode it to Dairy Queen, sat outside with my blizzard and read The Perks of Being a Wallflower. On the way back, I realized I could ride for much longer, so I did. It's a nice place to ride out here in SoCal because there is a lot of space, such sweeping views of the mountains and valley and you pass by the dairy farms and see cows and everything. If things were closer I would bike everywhere, but they're not, so I'm still desperate for a car. Anyway, I had a new playlist of recent music, and I just kept going. Jay-Z's Holy Grail, Capital Cities' Safe and Sound, Macklemore's Same Love, Daft Punk's Lose Yourself To Dance. The sun was setting. I just kept riding and listening to the music and trying not to think. I was riding until it was pretty dark. I even circled around the housing complex a few times until there was nothing left to do but go home.

On Friday I substitute taught for a class of 5th graders. They were a pretty good group, and I enjoyed my time with them, even though it required some improvising on my part. The school required that I kept the classroom door locked at all times and that I be the one to open for any knocks, and that students had to travel in pairs to go anywhere. It's necessary and I get it, it's just sad how much has changed since I was in school.

Saturday was Izaak's first birthday party! It was hot, but nice to see everyone and celebrate the super hero way!

Cousins at the party! ...minus Tawny, Mychele, Tori, Sam, Sebastian and Izaak the birthday boy!

On Sunday morning, I hiked Mount Rubidoux for the first time with a friend from high school that just moved back to Riverside after a good nine years too, and hadn't hiked it either! He and I had met up last week for drinks and even ran into more people from high school. Really what amazed me was that neither of us had done this hike before. We met at the base at 7:30am and man was it a popular idea! It was getting warm but it was nice and bright and beautiful.

After I came home from that I hung out with Kathleen, and relaxed and she went to work and that was when I went for my bike ride. So yesterday was pretty active. This morning I was hoping to be called in for a subbing position but wasn't, so I finished reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower. Here were some of the passages I liked from it that I feel like sharing:

January 1, 1992
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this all feels very familiar. But it’s not mine to be familiar about. I just know that another kid has felt this. ...And all the books you’ve read had been read by other people. And all the songs you’ve loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that’s pretty to you is pretty to other people. And you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing “unity.”

March 28, 1992
I would give someone a record so they could love the record, not so they would always know that I gave it to them.
My sister tried to clarify these things. She said that by introducing me to all these great things, Mary Elizabeth gained a “superior position” that she wouldn’t need if she was confident about herself. She also said that people who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don’t, nothing will work out the way they want.

April 29, 1992
It suddenly dawned on me that if Michael were still around, Susan probably wouldn’t be “going out” with him anymore. Not because she’s a bad person or shallow or mean. But because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody.

June 22, 1992
It’s strange the times people choose to be generous.

So, tomorrow I’m leaving. And I’m not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is. But right now I’m here with you.

* * *

And can't forget to take any opportunity to share how cute my little Khaleesi Del Taco is. She's a tough nut at times but she's coming around.

Tomorrow I am subbing for a class of 3rd graders. Yikes!

When Worlds Collide

Between having grown up in Riverside, going to school in Santa Barbara, studying abroad in France, living in San Diego and moving to New York City, I have accumulated a lot of different worlds of friends, and they often collide and intermingle. There was a new one to add to the books when Jayna came to visit last weekend. Not that we did much to be social with anyone else, but she at least got to come to southern California for some sunny frivolity.

Let's take a trip down memory lane and all laugh together:

Jayna (white) and me (green) texting each other as I'm picking her up from the airport. Her celebrity comment made me laugh a lot when I got it. It was totally a Jayna comment but was still unexpectedly hil-ar-i-ous to me, so I screenshot it

First things first: RIVERSIDE! Little Miss East-Coast Jayna from Germany has officially been introduced to the wonder of the world that is Riverside's Mission Inn!

Downtown Riverside was SHOCKINGLY fun. The end of our min-pub crawl was here at Proabition

Next daysies: beach! We ended up at Newport in the sun for a few hours

This gull was originally just chillin' abrasively on someone's cooler, but strutted away eventually

We bought a shameless amount of snacks to bring with us

After the beach was Disneyland...

Can you tell we spent all day in the sun before we took off on Matterhorn?

Next day: Hollywood and LA! Here at Grauman's Chinese Theatre

And my first time at LACMA!

That night we went out with the twins in LA, to a bar with a Jenga that Jenga Jayna jealously guarded...

We crashed at the twins' place that night and were up by 6am the next morning (OUCH) for her to catch her flight out of LAX back to Raleigh. It was a suuuuuuuper fast trip, and now we wait for the next time one of us hits a jackpot to reunite again. Except next time she's in Cali, it's going to be alllll relaxin'... beaches, brunches and wine tasting. Party on Garth!

East Coast Comes to Cali

Turn on your TV's, because my HBO Special, my best girl Jayna is coming to town! She's en route now and in a few hours I'll be off to pick her up from LAX. I'm excited for a weekend of showing her California: Riverside, Orange County, Disneyland, beaches, bars, clubs and LA in four days! It definitely can be done, so says I!

Labor Day Weekend

I wasn't really thinking much about Labor Day Weekend (I mean, when you're unemployed, every day is Labor Day! ...ironically) but oh man, what a great time I had closing out summer. On Friday, Kathleen and I were out and about getting sushi and (my) eyebrows did before I went to Redlands for an interview and then got to spend the evening with some old friends and their kids up in Woodcrest of Riverside. Each of them has 2 kids and boy howdy was that fun to watch them break up fights every 2 seconds, discipline, then feed, get ready for bed, keep putting them down, etc etc! We had fun after the kids were down though, which even included an incident with a cat, a fox, chickens and a shotgun! I love all the space up in the hills.

On Saturday I was up early to take care of some stuff, and even had time to ride my bike to the store and around the neighborhood before getting ready and meeting my cousin Brianna and her friend Jen in Orange County to go to the street fair for the City of Orange. It was so fun! They grew up there and had friends around, but we had a good time the three of us.

My aunt found us on OCWeekly.com from the street fair!

The best present ever came from my aunt. Brianna and Jen just graduated nursing school and have been job hunting for months barely so much as like one interview each. Then there's me who's working an unpaid internship and interviewing without hope of a job, and none of us had plans for the weekend, so my aunt generously booked a hotel room for us in San Diego so we could escape for a night and re-energize! It was sooooo nice, and so appreciated, and definitely hit the spot! So Brianna, Jen and I drove down to San Diego and checked into the Andaz Hotel in Gaslamp. I have to say that after living there, it's so weird to check in to a hotel just like two blocks away, but I felt so fancy! That place was nice and we even got free valet and tons of complimentary items from the room.

The hotel was hosting a pool party at their rooftop pool and we got to go for free so we dropped our stuff, got ready and got to the pool. It was so much fun! The DJ was great, it was hot and everyone was so friendly! It felt like a Coachella footnote. We also met a bunch of British guys who were fun, and I could have sworn one of these guys working the event was Harry from Mad Men (who is one of the best characters) at least when he had his glasses on, but I still referred to him as the Mad Man and told him that he reminded me of that guy and assured him it was a compliment.

This was one of the British guys. I wish I could remember the joke he told. I usually couldn't understand him and would ask "Was that English?" and he had some smartalec remark for me

The Mad Man! Obviously not Don Draper lololol

The pool party ended around 6 (so sad!) so we went to my all-time favorite place in San Diego called Bar Basic, which is a pizzeria and a bar. We ate there before going back to the room to get ready for the evening. Oh man did we do Gaslamp right. Fluxx nightclub, Sevilla, barleymash, some other places along 5th Avenue, pedicabs to Side Bar and Bang Bang, all the while meeting quite the cast of characters.

We walked back to our hotel after everything closed around 2am, and Brianna and I were standing outside the hotel talking when we met some Armenian guys who were there celebrating a bachelor party and had the penthouse suite in our hotel, and we accepted their invitation up. It was an entire party of Armenians, and they played their traditional music and danced for us and entertained us with all things Armenian. I guess I should put Armenian Bachelor Party on the bucket list so that I can cross it off now.

At Fluxx (which didn't exist when I was there... at least not under that name)

We loved to tell people we were cousins and they would go crazy, then say we look nothing alike. I would tell them that Brianna was the Latina one and they always said "Oh. I would think it would be the other way around." I guess you just can't go off looks!

Yep! That's an Uncle Carl in my hand!

That looks like a Classic Me face, probably offended about something haha

I feel like I look incredibly mischievous in this picture, which is just as well because I sure felt like that that night, I was up to no good!

Brianna said it was okay to do this because it was Selfie Sunday!

On Monday we were a little slow moving and getting out, but we made it to a brunch on 5th Avenue and met up with some friends of Jen's, and then even saw our group of Englishmen walking! Then we went to lounge at the Hard Rock's roof before walking around Gaslamp and ice cream from Ghiradelli.

Lyrics at the bar on the roof of the Hard Rock:
Made up my mind to make a new start
Going to California with an aching in my heart
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair

Brianna said it was okay to do this because it was Selfie Monday!

Hard Rock roof. We collapsed on the couches and barely moved at all

We left in the early evening and stopped off in San Clemente for tacos from a little stand that Jen knew (deeeeeeelish) and I got home just completely done. I am still exhausted today but well worth it!