Sweet Anana, the Best Girl Ever

Broaching this topic is painful, and devastating, and talking about it still twists the knife, but I want to put this out here now and not draw it all out.

Last Friday, we said goodbye to our Anana. She was a month shy of 15, and she was, well, 15 years old. She had been slowing down for awhile, but a recent jump essentially disabled her and put her in too much pain to continue. Neither of us had ever had to put an animal down before and that process is excruciating and truly traumatizing. I think that entire building heard me wailing in tears.

We are not okay. She was a pillar of our relationship, and our baby, and a real member of this family. She was the flower girl in our wedding. She was more than a dog. She didn't want to be a dog, she wanted to be our baby. She didn't want to do dog things, she wanted to do things with us. Some of the hardest parts of traveling were having to leave her and be away from her, but seeing her happy reaction on the return was the best part of coming home. 

I am still wracked with guilt at Anana's last years. The truth is, she didn't relish being a big sister. By the time Sophie joined our family, Anana was too old and grumpy to tolerate the loud, screamy, pokey baby and to lose her place in our hierarchy. It still kills me that I didn't have the time, attention and patience for her in these past 17 months that I used to. I wish I could make her understand how much we loved her and that even though our priorities had to shift, she never lost her place in our hearts.

AJ got Anana as an 8-week-old puppy and had her for 15 years. As he tells it, he wanted a Malamute and found an ad in the Penny Saver for some out in the High Desert. When he got there, it was exceedingly clear these were not purebred Malamutes, (and he says the parents were there and one was VERY wild... pretty sure it was a wolf), but he still took the white girl puppy. 

She was with AJ all that time, and even lived with him in Canada when he went there for college. As a matter of fact, when we went to his college roommate's wedding in Canada a few years ago, they told us that one of their first dates was taking Anana out on a walk, which was such a cute story.

She was in my life for over 7 years since I started dating AJ in January 2015. Him having a dog that he loved and cared for was both a turn-on and very comforting to see his love for others, for animals, and ability to commit.

The water made Anana nervous. She didn't like people in the pool and spent the whole time worrying about them and running around trying to monitor them. When we took her to the dog beach, we had to take turns going in the water and have one of us up on the sand with her to distract her, otherwise she was too worried.

She could never settle in the car, she wouldn't just lay and relax. She would go side to side and always stick her face up on the side of the driver, breathing into your ear and fogging up the window. 

She loved the snow (understandably). It was her habitat, her real home. She pranced and rolled in it, ate it, licked the ice, and was so happy to be in it. The last time we were able to take her up to the snow was in January 2020, it was the day Kobe Bryant died. We were always meaning to take her back.

She was a perfect pup when we took her camping. When we were sitting at the campfire, she would plant herself on the outside of our circle, backs to us and keeping watch for anything that would approach us. One time, I took a nap and she laid down next to me and my friend told me she would growl at anyone who was getting too close to me.

I hate the nights, because her bed is empty in our room and I have to go to sleep in the quiet and can't stop myself from thinking about her and missing her presence. Last night I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I was squinting in the dark for her to step around her as usual. It took a moment to remember, and it hurt. I hate the mornings when I wake up and have to remember that she's not here and I don't have to feed her. And I hate the days, as I go through my usual routines without her following me around, going on walks on with me, hearing her lap up water from her bowl, come around the couch and lay on the living room floor at my feet... or when I walk into the bedroom and don't see her laying on her rug. There are so many firsts we're getting through and it's really painful, habits we need to break now that she's not with us anymore. It's still very hard to come home and not have her waiting at the door when we get in and it's just so quiet not hearing her nails clicking on the hardwood as she walks around, her loud breathing and her human-like sighs.

We miss her. We knew it was coming but you're just never ready for it. There's never enough time.

Sophie trying to put her harness on
to take her for a walk

Rubbing snow onto her back like the Snow Queen she was

This was when I was knocked down for THREE DAYS
with food poisoning (from sushi, so you know it was no
joke), and Anana kept me company the whole time

Her bark mitzvah in 2020

Always nearby

The last walk we ever took her on

Cuddling with us

I mean it was a pandemic

Caring for me after my laser eye surgery in Dec 2019

Our sweet flower girl coming down
the aisle at our wedding

She learned real quickly where the food
scraps came from LOL

Anana and her alpha

Anana
May 20, 2007 - April 15, 2022

A World of Wordle

I'm guessing this Wordle craze is going to die down soon and we'll remember the days when it was all anyone could talk about for a month, much like Sudoku. And maybe it'll be even less relevant since it requires a digital platform and can't be played on paper like Sudoku, and you won't see subway riders carting along a paper book of Sudoku puzzles to pass the time during their NYC commutes like I did for Sudoku... and what will be even less memorable are all the crazy amounts of splinter games that have come from it. But, I want to put them all in one place because I'm starting to lose track of them all (and I bet you didn't know about half of these either). 

Well there's the original Wordle, now owned by the New York Times (ugh).

And you can also find the Wordle archive to do past puzzles (although I already went through that whole thing).

Then there's Quordle, where you do four words at once.

And in going to Quordle, I found Dordle, which is apparently two words at once.

My personal favorite (after the original Wordle) is Worldle (did you catch that? WORLDle) and it will humble you on your global geography

Then we take a left turn with Nerdle, which is numbers-based to find the mathematical equation. It's hard, but not as hard as it sounds, since it sticks to basic functions (addition, subtraction, division and multiplication) and sticks to whole numbers and simple computations. 

Things get absurd with Absurdle... the machine changes the word with each guess for maximum difficulty, but you do get unlimited guesses. It's less difficult and more fun than it sounds, and lasts longer than Wordle.

Now we're about to go off the rails.

Semantle is probably a linguist's dream... you're guessing the word based on the semantics and it's similarity value. Player discretion advised (it can be difficult).

Subwaydle is really for the New Yorker, and I like to play because it makes me feel connected to my once-home, but this one, which gives you two destinations in NYC and asks you create the subway route with two transfers (aka three trains) has a lot of room for improvement. Like, tell me which borough and neighborhood I'm starting in (there are subway stops with the same names off different trains in different boroughs... even upper Manhattan has a 103 stop on the Upper West Side (via the 1 train) and Upper East Side (via the 6 train) so stop telling me I'm wrong!) and there are definitely lots of different ways to get from A to B in NYC, but it only has one correct route. So, it's really fun in theory, a little frustrating in practice.

And to top off the whimsical world of what Wordle has spawned... I also play Swiftle... where you have to guess the Taylor Swift song within 1-second increments. (This one also has room for improvement - like maybe a yellow line if your guess is from the correct album at least?? Otherwise there are no hints, just a simple right or wrong, although it does give you more song to hear with each wrong guess.)

I'm sure there are plenty more but this is my line up for when I need a mental break and if you can't waste a collective half hour on these then I can't help you.

City of Oaks

I had a unique opportunity to get away, and I took it. It was my first time away from Sophie overnight ever. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to, but as Jayna pointed out, if I have to be away from Sophie, who better to be with during that time than her? Trueeeee!

I've been to Raleigh plenty of times, so I wasn't there for sightseeing or really anything other than being able to see Jayna (for the first time since August 2019 when we had a rendez-vous in NYC) and of course, get my southern fix. And clearly nothing says that you're getting old when you come home and see you've taken hardly any photos and only ONE of you.

I got in very early on Friday morning, in enough time to help take Annika to daycare and then get back for a power nap.

Jayna knows all about Khaleesi's
antics with lizard-catching and swears
they aren't that bad... but these are her
lizards! Cute and green. Ours are so...
savage lol. Reptilian and big and gray

After Annika was done with school for the day, we drove over to Knightdale to visit a small fair. I'll never forgive them for charging extra for the House of Mirrors, but it was fun watching Annika have such a great time on them all. Aaaand we got deep fried Oreos. (Ser gerd).

Reading a bedtime story to Annika. We went cheery
and read The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

In the morning, my basic self needed coffee, and Stephen whipped up this homemade latte for me... what a treat! Look at this picture-perfect caffeine.

That day, Jayna arranged the most perfect 24 hours to ourselves in the downtown, complete with a hotel room for us to just be away (and sleep). We did our rounds in Raleigh, complete with visiting her office at the downtown station (and a penny press! score!), a trip back to Lucette Grace, hitting all the trinket and local Raleigh swag stores, stopping for drinks, and dinner at the Capital Club.

Ukrainian sweet cheese (because duh,
Slava Ukraini and love Zelenskiy)
and birthday cake, because I am still
a child

Chicken of the treeeeees! Fun fact,
the next day, Stephen shared one of
his childhood memories from Kentucky
with us, which included his dad taking him
out of school to go hunt squirrels, which
they would then bring to his grandmas house
for her to skin it and cook it! It's real people!

The funniest part about this was how
they passed an actual real fire truck
right after this

Being away from Sophie was easier than I expected. I knew the anticipation and the dread would be worse than actually being gone, and like Jayna said, I was hanging with her and not on some stressful work trip. And it helped that Debbie was in town from Nashville to help out, and I got a never-ending stream of photos of Sophie's whereabouts and adventures, which included visiting the pets at the store when they went for dog food, and some stints eating out. Oh and a video of her practicing her jumping after music class!

After our fabulous time to ourselves in the city, we went back on Sunday and Jayna & Stephen indulged my love of southern culture (I should specify: select aspects of southern culture. There is without a doubt large sections of southern culture I would want nothing to do with) and took me to "Anytown, USA" in the form of Wendell! A cute little main street featuring a general store and ice cream shoppe and a pretty sweet brewery too. I cleaned up at the general store... I bought sweet potato and pecan butter, hush puppy mix, funnel cake mix and candy cigarettes because they still sold them - what an institution!

Their "worker bees" served the "drone bee"
(Stephen) and "queen bees" (me and Jayna)
from their "hive". Sorry but I live for that
nonsense

Mural across the street from the brewery; we
were sitting outside on the patio enjoying the
fresh air and playing a family version of
What Do You Meme

According to Annika, "Hornworms taste good!"

Lizard Lick, NC. A real place.

We hit up a super cute playground on the way back (all farm themed and built like chicken coops and barns and towers with real wood... where you at California??) and then to a nice little dinner joint where I got a southern fried chicken sandwich. I didn't realize pimento cheese was a southern thing... it's a unique taste but I enjoyed it.

The weekend went way too fast. And even though I was only there to visit Jayna, I still felt like I had so much unfinished business! I'm never ready to leave the south. I did come home with lots of stuff though, like everything I bought at the Wendell general store, and a glass from the Bearded Bee brewery (how did that get in there??), Yuengling beers, some Kentucky bourbon for AJ from Stephen, Sophie's new Good Night, North Carolina book and a whole host of clothes, shoes and other accessories from Sophie from Annika. 

We had fun when I was home that evening, pulling it all out and letting Sophie see and play with her haul. She especially loved the Hello Kitty gardening hat and gloves and spent some solid time taking them off and putting them back on, grabbing the car keys, kissing us goodbye and saying bye bye! It's crazy the things she's picked up on! I'm very happy she sees kisses goodbye as essential to the leaving process though. That makes me happy.

Now we really need to level up and get AJ and Sophie out to Raleigh one of these days too. The most annoying part is how difficult it is to get into Raleigh for some reason, airlines apparently just do not like that place. If you ever find a cheap route... you know who to tell.

FaceTime!

Sophie's starting to understand the phone and even holds it up to her ear to say hello (which kinda blows my mind because... does she ever see us do that? Do I ever talk on my phone anymore?) but I figured between my work phone and personal phone I could FaceTime her, and watching her confusion first, followed by looking back and forth between the phone screen and me and then just thinking it was funny was hilarious.

And she's obsessed with going outside lately (definitely don't blame her) so we spend some time hanging out under the carport in the front where she can hang out at Cafe Sophie and go in and out of her tent and practice big steps over the cracked driveway concrete (guess that's good for something).

Oh and guess what! Happy Birthday today to Enzo!